I finally told the admins (you remember, the ones who don't care?) about the horrible shit Nurse Crazy was up to over the last few months- I laid it all out for them. Two days later I was fired- for failure to report abuse. Yeah- it makes zero sense. If I hadn't reported it in the first place, I would have still been employed, but reporting it caused me to get fired for not reporting. Go ahead and re-read that- I'll wait.

Okay, so... I did mucho research on laws regarding whistle blowing and was pretty sure I got dry dicked with no reach around. Looking through endless pages of bullshit, I found a policy on their site about conflict resolution, so I called it. I told them the whole long tale- and at first I gave only my first name and an alternate phone number than the one my work had on file. I called again, and again, and again, and it was forwarded to a cheeky fellow who is in charge of some important shit 'round these parts. By that time, my name, the facility, etc was out so an investigation went on... and on... and on... Took about 2 weeks for them to come to their stellar decision.

They found that my termination was not in line with company policy. (No shit, it's also illegal, jackass.) So, they "amended" it to a write up. Awesomesauce- when can I go back? Wait, there's more. In the course of this investigation, one person mentioned this website to the admins, and they passed it on. Mr. Cheeky Fellow came here and saw that I called my nurse crazy, the admins assholes, etc. (Because I am a revolutionary in thinking my boss sucks, and no one has ever bitched about work before.) So, he decided to fire me again- for my blog. To recap, I got fired, rehired and re-fired. They somehow think that doesn't fall under the same action of retaliation.

Now, I imagine the conversation between Cheeky Fellow and the facility went something like "Well, you shouldn't have done that. It's illegal under whistleblower protection and it's called retaliation.". "Well, we don't care what we do to get rid of her... we'll find something." and sometime later, "One of the people here traced her to a website. Get her for that. Just don't let her back in here." and Mr. Cheeky called me with all of it.

Now, this blog... is my outlet, my steam valve, my therapy- recommended (and read) by my Psychiatrist in Germany. I have had it a very, very long time- coming up on 5 years now. As far as the people I bitch about- they are anonymous. No names. Not even close names. I never once mentioned where I work- not even the town I live in... unless there really is someplace called No-Fucking-Where, ND. I did notice my about me page says I still live in Ramstein. A Google search of every variation of my name produces between 1-2 million hits. Hell, you even have to dig to find personal pictures.

Although they nailed me with entries on the first page... They also seemed to take a bunch of shit out of context- like missing the repetitive parts about loving my job, loving what I do, and having nightmares about the Crazy Nurse and her stunts. PLUS this site would never have been found if it weren't for an investigation launched when they fucked up in the first place by firing me. So, it all seems a bit over the top.

I would post the names on here of everyone involved in this shit bomb- but tat seems wrong- like I would be stooping to their level. Not that it is beneath me, but I am doing what I usually do. When things get crazy around me, I sit very still and very quiet and watch, to figure out what my next move is. This week it is not only to find a new job, but deal with my new found experiences called "panic attacks"; never had them before, and they are not very convenient for my schedule. At some point I may go on ahead and smear all of their shit on the walls for everyone to see... but for now, I am trying to compartmentalize.

If you know recourse for whistle blowing, share. If you are just supporting me, and know intimate details of names, etc, please refrain from posting them- I hate editing feedback. I need to keep this as... cool as possible for the time being.

That is not to say that there aren't things I would like to accomplish... Like getting back to posting on here. Maybe if I just fucking force myself to sit down and write something- anything- everyday... Could get boring for anyone who might still stop by to read, but fuck it. In return, maybe those that stop by could leave a comment or two... OH- or maybe people who read could make a resolution to not make refuckingtarded comments...? I dunno. Anyway- Happy New Year.

About that ink. We bought the printer at Best Buy. We have one of those Best Buy cards, and therefore they have a detailed reconrd of every dollar we have spent there, and every item we have bought... including the printer model number. As I wasn't sure what model we had, and didn't want to purchase the wrong ink, I found a sales guy to look it up and find out what we needed. "Number 74". Okay. Great awesome. Grab the ink, drag the husband kicking and screaming from the store and head home.

I left the ink in the bag until today, casue I was gonna print my shit to sell last years costumes. Come to find out the little ass monkey who works at Best Buy can't fuckin read, as the ink cartridge doesn't fit. It is not even CLOSE. That guy IS fail. And yes I already opened it... and I am of the mind set that they will still take it back, as it was their asshole flunky who had me buy the wrong god damned thing. Of course by the time I get down there- 40 fucking miles down there- I will be good and pissed. I don't think I will be denied.

Well, despite them knowing this information... and despite the fact that he runs fucking circles around all of us put together- because he had to take some time off to care for his family, (who likely got sick from some shit he caught at work), they decided to arbitrarily punish him by taking 8 hours away from him a week.

He's pissed. I would be too. In fact I am- we come now to the fucktard part... They decided to hand those extra hours to me. I didn't want them. I didn't ask for them. In fact, I told them several times that working 5 days a week is hard on me and my family. So they are fucking him, and fucking me at the same time. I came back to a schedule that has me slotted for 9 of the first 12 days of the month... I know I am no math whiz, but that sounds like more than part time to me; hell it sounds like more than full time. Not to worry, it is conveniently split between the pay periods so the bastards don't have to pay me for overtime. Bunch-o-fucktards.

I had grand plans for projects here in the house when I got back, and they have had to be put on hold a bit. Not to worry, there is a girl who is desperate for hours, and she was more than happy to take a few days next week and later this month. In the mean time, I am doing my best the grit my teeth and get through these first 2 weeks of fall.

I am completely exhausted. The nightmares have become a constant part of any naps I take, so I have pretty much given them up. I find them somehow more tiring than just staying up.
On a more positive note, I went to the dermatologist last week and had a mole removed. Figured it was about time, before I had to register it for it's own zip code. 2 things- Getting three lidocaine shots in a very small area is somewhat painful. Secondly the most sickening smell EVER is that of your own burning flesh, especially when it is an area being cauterized right under your nose.

I had best shoot for some sleep. I get a whole night off before I have to go back for two more. Whatever will I DO with all this free time? Bunch of ASSHATS.

I have little to bitch about this week- as I have spent the last two and a half weeks on vacation in Arizona. Being away from the Crazy Munchhausen's having bitch nurse at work has been gleeful. There have been some low points, but overall, it's been pretty nice. I wish the hub could have come with me, missing him something awful.

Started out the trip in Phoenix. Well, Carefree actually. Spent a week with my paternal grandparents. His internet was equivocal to a couple of tin cans and a string, and had no wireless, so I wasn't able to hook up my system to it. That was major suck, as when we had downtime at the house, the kids were bored to tears... So, we went out doing stuff alot. That was fun- except that "doing stuff" tends to fucking hemorrhage money. Paying for everything sucked.
The kids got to go to the zoo, and saw a movie, and went out for some good lunches... They also got to learn some new words, like dialysis, canula, O2 concentrator, and renal failure, since my Grandfather is doing somewhat poorly these days. I mean, he looks good for what he's been through, but overall it was a little bit of a shock to see him so weak.

I am now down in Sierra Vista, AZ, hanging with mom. It is much cooler here, (by like 20 degrees), and she has a bit more for the kids to occupy themselves with during said downtime- including internet and a couple of computers... a big desert filled yard to play in, and a ginormous dog who loves kids, (they smell like cookies and dirt- a dog's favorite thing). They dig playing with mom and Rick- and they are constantly with them... and it's really nice. Not only that they are getting to know each other, but it gives me an emotional and physical break from chasing after them on a constant basis, chewing ass like a fucking machine.

So, that's my life this week. I fly home on Sunday- the kids go back to school, (YAY, WIN), and I go back to work, (BOO, FAIL). But as it is now autumn, and Kev is back at work, I can finally get back into a routine that allows me to keep up, (and catch up) with the house and such. Hopefully, I may even have time to keep up on here with writing, although I am not making any promises. There are bits and parts of the trip that require some venting, and maybe some picture posting.

In any case, that's where I've been. I would like to say that I'll be posting more often. I will certainly try, but seems I am in a funk right now. I will be putting up pictures of the most recent "Holy shit I feel old" day. Our daughter turned 9 on Saturday... and HOLY SHIT- Chuck E Cheese is a loud loud place. More on that later. Tchuss.

I will write a quick intro to Nurse Clown. She is the raggin ass bitch who comes on day shift. I swear to god, she walks so high on her aura of self righteousness it is actually amazing to watch- like a train wreck in slow motion. You can talk about people who think their shit don't stink, but this twat- she thinks her shit is perfect- maybe even miraculous. Her moral grandstanding attitude makes me wanna puke on her shoes. If there was one person I could take in the back and beat to a bloody stump and get away with it? It would be Nurse Clown... Yep, Nurse Crazy is a personal piss off... but bloodying Nurse Clown would be a greater service to all of humanity. I will on another occasion go into exactly how I came to the conclusion that she is the indignation holier than thou cunt that she is, but not now... I'll just piss myself off on this, "my Friday", before bed.

I also had the random thought today while taking the trash out... as the sun is just coming up, but not rising yet... The few clouds on the horizon, if you blur your vision a bit, look like pretty mountains in the distance.... Ha! Snap back to reality- no mountains just flat flat flat for as far as you can see. I miss mountains. A few months back I was on a trip to another village a few miles from here- I was panicking and on the cell with the hub. He said, "Well do you see any landmarks?" To which I not so calmly replied, "What?! What fucking landmarks?! There's nothing here. The only thing I can see is... The curvature of the earth!" He started laughing at me... and I realized I miss mountains, and valleys with well defined cities in them.

Anyways...just a few random thoughts. I should be around more soon, as the kids are out of school the end of this week- and them being around always adds excitement... insanity that needs an outlet.

Maybe it is just the exasperation talking- a crazy night busting ass, calming residents from dementia induced screaming, and shit explosions, call light bingo of the other residents not really sure of what they want.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that she is a hard ass, or just a bitch- it's just how she does absolutely everyfuckingthing she applies herself to from the moment she gets there until I leave. I have come to the conclusion that she has some serious undiagnosed psychiatric condition that make her the way she is. Compulsive, borderline obsessive. Why else would it take anyone 45 minutes to fill out a fucking form? Some people who seem compulsive aren't really- they are neat freaks, or big on attention to detail- but they still get their shit done. This woman gets so wrapped up in her shit that she gets tunnel vision, scatterbrained, and will write a report before she writes a report. No joke, she writes it out on a piece of paper, then copies it into the chart. Now if you have meds to give out, vitals to take, paper work to record on 15-20 people... isn't that a bit of a stretch? God forbid if something happens with one of the residents and she has to go check on them (keep them up for an hour to take their pulse?). Her shit is in a constant state of chaos. I think it must be awfully noisy inside her head- like a blind man tripping through a stack of empty cans on a tile floor.

Seriously, how can anyone who has been in nursing for 30+ years need to sit for 3 hours and look up medical terminology in a dictionary to fill out a chart? Keep in mind, in a nursing home, the conditions one sees on a day to day basis don't change that much- not like we are in the diagnostics wing of some exotic diseases hospital. It's a fucking nursing home... and these reports are on residents she has been working with for months if not years- what the fuck is she looking up?! Her report for a single shift (keep in mind it is a shift the resident has SLEPT through) takes up 75% of the page. By way of comparison, the day shift's notes take up 6 or 7 lines, and document no less information.

I am spending more and more time running around in the mornings trying to get her petty projects done ahead of her so she can do her fucking job. It's a goddamned good thing that I am good at what I do, so I have time to do it- but I shouldn't have to. It is driving me insane. She is obsessive, which is disturbing to the residents. She is a control freak, which is a pain to me, and I have noticed a touch of passive aggressive tendencies towards me and my co-workers when we get our shit done before she has a chance to nit-pick about them.

So, yeah. I love my job. Nights when Nurse Crazy isn't there are a fucking dream- even when those nights are harried and hectic with the residents climbing curtains and eating wallpaper. I can cope, I can deal, I can leave in the morning with a smile on my face.

BTW- no one cares in admin. They have had hundreds of night CNAs com and go through a revolving door of employment in the last 10 years that she has been there-dozens report her... and they won't do anything about shit that she does (or doesn't do), so talking to the big heads won't help. Best I can do is keep my private little mental notes of shit on a day to day basis, and over time, maybe I can compile a body of evidence the state can use to give her a nice vacation. In a quiet place. With the nice young men in clean white coats.

On the other hand, usually for his present I buy him electronics... which I invariably fuck up every. Single. Time. I buy what I think is a great thing, and find out that I could have had the one up model for less money, or it is not compatible with our shit, or it is not what he wanted at all and it will collect dust in the wrapper til the second coming of Christ. This year, I decided to try something different...

As food is something I can't dick up, and there is really nothing electronic he is lacking- I googled up food places that might send something no less than awesome. The Lobster Guy. For once, being married to a Masshole paid off. For the low price of $149.00 I got him two 2 pound lobsters, a pound of scallops, a pound of shrimp, half a pound of crab meat and two massive servings of clam chowder.That price included overnight shipping. Taking into account we could go to Red Lobster and spend $125, it was a hell of a deal. The little crawly bastards are in the kitchen at this very moment waiting for their execution in the boilin' pot.

With the extras, I was thinking of looking up a recipe for seafood stuffing, but going into uncharted territory, adventures in seafood cooking, as it were, I don;t want to risk dicking it up. I am sure no matter how easy the recipe looks, it may not come out like that restaurant we ate at on the cape. I can always go with what I know- scallops cooked with bacon, scampi and... I don;t know what to do with the crab- he doesn't eat crab cakes.... fuck it, I'll throw it into the "chowda".

I am off to go make a cake with GREEN whipped cream icing. Just because we are postponing the corned beef tradition, doesn't mean we are going to put off the yearly torture of K2 with the green extras.

I guess his friend saw these accusations, and decided to get knee deep in the monkey shit fight. He used his name in his log on. (EPIC FAIL). So he also got e-jumped and beat up. Now, I didn't see those posts because when I checked the site, it was full of spam. SHITLOADS of spam posts... and the posts made by Epic-Fail Guy had been self deleted, see why below. Apparently he got somewhat nasty- calling people bitches and cunts and whatnot. See, if he had any finesse he would know how to deliver a burn like that without coming across as a gigantic prick. In any case...

Now, these two AAFES employees got all pissed off because they got e-reamed. I would be pissed too. Of course I would not be so upset as to GO HIRE A LAWYER. "They called me a cheater and beat me up on the internet playground! WAAAAAH!" Nor would I resort to spending time and getting my friends to spend time spam bombing a forum site, either. (The e-equal to nanny nanny boo boo?)

Now, I was somewhere between insulted, humored and dumbstruck having read the "lawyer letters". They are demanding I release the IP and contact information of the guy who posted the initial accusatory comments re:Staff Car. They can fuck themselves. I have no obligation nor intention of doing either. Seriously... how ballsy can one get?

Here's the crux. I live in America... the frigid hell hole part, but it is still American soil. My site is hosted in Utah. I even renewed it recently from here in the USA. There is a law on German books saying the owner of a site is responsible for it's content. Groovy. BUT- if said owner goes on that board and specifically says those opinions do not belong to the site owner, they are off the hook. In the US laws I am just plain not liable for things other people post. Either way my ass is covered. Even before I found out about all this bullshit, I had gone in and locked that thread. Once I had read the complaints by the assholes who stand accused- I even deleted their names out of the post. I thought that was damn sporting of me, as I am under no obligation to do so... I don't care, nor do I want to read about a monkey shit fight where people are getting their mothers called whores.

In any case one of the men keeps messaging me asking me to release the information, and wraps it in a nice thin veil of threat of action from the (German) courts- i.e. "do it before it starts costing you money instead of time". (odd, as once you hire an attorney, aren't you supposed to let the attorney handle things?) So, I still find myself teetering between anger at his audacity and absolute hysterical laughter at his stupidity. Seriously, he has no, nil, nadda, zip, zero, zilch legal leg to stand on. It sounds kind of like this in my head..."BWAHAHAHHAHAHHAH... FUCK YOU! Bring it bitch!!"

Although the last message I got from him seemed somewhat more- I won't say nicer- but it was more pathetic; begging maybe. Now he wants to appeal to my empathy for working with an asshole. He promised it would be an epic downfall of this individual in the German Courts... even promised to make and send a youtube video of it. Wait, what?! You want to deprive a person of their job and livelihood during a global recession, maybe get him thrown in a German jail, and probably get him kicked out of Europe by losing his command sponsorship and be sent to the states with no job, no money and little prospects for survival... and that is somehow something to post on youtube? How about bragging to me that you will send it if I give up the information? You think MY site is mean and unfair? What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How god damned vindictive can you get?! I can be hateful, but fuck me, this guy is competing for a blue ribbon in the race to hell. Here's a crazy ass thought- wouldn't that make you even more liable and responsible for slander and shit than I am? Seriously dude... get help. Get it now, before we hear about you in a post office with an AK47.

In any case, I will keep y'all posted. He is just about to figure out that he fucked up when he tried to bully me with his "lawyer letters". I won't just enjoy teasing him like a matador with a cape... I will thoroughly enjoy destroying him and his buddy for being fuckin assholes. No matter how bad this guy he works with is, it can only pale in comparison to wanting to post his nemesis getting thrown in jail on youtube. I will say this whole matter has given me a really bad taste in my mouth for the "Professionals" in the AAFES IT Department. If any of the asshats who started this shit worked for me (the original shit flinger, or the 2 who are suing me), I'd see ALL 3 of them strung up by their balls in a tree over a bear pit.

How weird is it that more than half of my closest friends- I mean people I would take a ball bat to your head if you fucked with them kind of buddies- I have never actually "met"? Never sat down to have pie with them, couldn't pick them out of a picture line up, couldn't tell you what street they live on... but they are my playmates, confidants, and the majority of my social life. We have this couple we are great friends with. We met them online- every day we would get together and blow each others heads off with a sniper rifle, laughing our asses off as we did it. Finally got to meet them. They let our family stay with them for a week or so when we were in transit... It was fucking awesome, but in all reality, we didn't know a shitload of anything about their lifestyle, except what we had observed over a headset, and later on the phone. We pulled in to their driveway, and it was like driving up to a beloved family member's home. The kids called them "Uncle and Aunt".

I have made friends in lots of places... California, Indiana, and Florida... prolly 5 different towns down there, and these are people I trust to tell my secrets to, and consider them close enough to tell them to get bent if they piss me off, and know they won't stop coming around because of it. Next spring we are planning on all meeting up down near Orlando- even checking on a group rate for Disneyworld, because there are so many of us that want to get together.

So, while you see all this bullshit on TV about how the electronic age is making more people isolationists, I have to differ. Now, yes there are those freaks who feel the need to search for donkey-porn and spend 20 hours a day jerking off until they get callouses on they dicks... and those that use the internet friends to hide from their families, and cheat on their wives without technically "cheating"... I can't help but wonder if maybe this is the silent majority of the internet/gaming community that you don't hear about. Because I would take a bullet for my friends, even the ones who I have never seen... and know my life is richer for knowing them.

This week, I am trying to figure out why the fuck people live here... I mean, on purpose. It is -14 degrees outside, and the windchill is -35. For reference, most people set their freezers at 0, so imagine trying to take the trash out, or gas up the car in that. Mother nature doing her damndest to sandblast your face off with snow and ice in 20 mph winds, and it's colder than your kitchen appliance that is designed to freeze things. The frickon dog doesn't even want to get more than 10 feet from the door to go out and piss, and I think it nearly freezes her pee stream as it is leaving her body... On that note we are considering a dog treadmill... as the poor puppy never can go outside to play, run and get exercise. The place is so cold that I need an exercise machine- for the DOG.

I have been told this is the worst winter here in years. Fucking stellar news, that. This absolutely sucks- and... AND... it is not the worst of it yet, as "blizzard season" starts later in the year. Told a co-worker tonight that when it is 80 and they are all bitching and moaning about how hot it is, I am gonna be wearing a sweater and doing a jig. Christ on crutches... When is it going to get warm? I'll settle for "not butt-fucking cold", when does that start?

Stop telling me I will get used to it, when talking about the weather. It is not normal to walk outside and have my skin exposed to lower temperatures than in my household freezer. One does not adapt to seeing numbers on the weather channel that we were taught in elementary school as "imaginary numbers".

It is not something one "gets used to"; tolerates perhaps, but not "gets used to". Nor does one adjust to having breathing hurt, merely because you are outside. I don't think it is okay to be scared of pumping a full tank of gas for fear of freezing while waiting to fill. It is weird, when letting the dog out to pee, to have her come back in limping and whimpering because her little tootsies are half frozen.

"On par" does not include having to start the car 20 minutes before you want to leave in order to not freeze your bag ass off, have the windows fog up mid-trip, or ensure that you will be able to get the vehicle out of the driveway in the first place.

So, my blood will never run that thick, my skin never that tolerant. It is all a terrible lie. Please stop trying to blow smoke up my ass. I'll just hang out here next to my space heater and wait for spring.

One of the sweetest old ladies you would ever wanna meet has a cold, and she was so kind to share it with my co-worker and me. The day after she coughed on us, we both came in with sniffles, sore throats, and coughs... It was like that cute matching thing friends do, without the cute... or the friends- as I really like this girl, but after working together only a handful of times can't call a friend yet. I have made a few friends... That is, people I would go grab a beer and breakfast at Denny's with. Oddly, they are either much younger or much older than I. Meh, I'll cope.

Let us count our blessings... Thus far, my part time schedule has managed to stay part time. My lunatic boss seems to be stepping up for her aides here and there, and is trying to help us out in our jobs by getting hers done a little more efficiently. That isn't to say she doesn't still remind me of a car stuck in the mud- with the wheels spinning to a blur, and the car not going anywhere- but the other day she actually went to bat for us when we had a fucked night (see above, re: river of shit) and weren't able to get two residents out of bed before we left.. as usual day-shift-bible-beating-zealot-bitch-nurse had a fit- and my night shift looney-nurse stood up for us. Neat.

I am also now official. I am certified by the State of North Dakota to wipe ass, make beds, brush dentures, and empty catheter bags. I passed my test. Next on my goal list is to get my EMT certification... One of the other CNAs wants to do it too, so it will be even more fun. Then I can also be certified to run IVs, ride in ambulances, strap people to gurneys, and scrape grey matter off sidewalks. What more could a girl ask for in life?